truth is i have nothing, nothing left for anyone. in saying this i know that i still do but its about time i gave up officially. yes. there's no point. tbh people who once meant something to me, well don't anymore, no one does. the fact that im the only that puts in the effort, the one that's thinking about them day and night, sometimes it tears me apart that we will never see each other again. im still dreaming, i need to live in reality when no one gives a fuck and that the people you love will never love you back. one reason that's making things not work out is shyness. sometimes i tend to walk slowly just to see if you would take that bigger step or walk faster just to talk to me? maybe just one step...but no, im just aimlessly walking slowly waiting for the person to pop up at talk. i doesn't happen anymore, not anymore. then again i should be use to this disappointment? its not like anything will get better at this point in time. i just want to be happy, but you're the reason im like this. maybe in 1 years time you will not matter to me, maybe i wil find someone better or maybe ill just be staying in the past trying figure out where i went wrong. i was on facebook today reading our old conversations wallposts and well some things you say really broke my heart, some things i wanted to change. i seems like then when i didn't see you as more than a friend it was easier to talk - more laughs, now you don't even go online. you are the reason i waste my time and effort, you are the reason i lose sleep and you are the reason why im so sick and tired of my life. whenever im sad, idk i just relate to you, the first person that pops up on my mind is ...well you?!? why can't things be different, why can't the people you love , love you back? well i have come to the conclusion that it's just life. i want to always see you, but maybe im annoying, i really cbf to care what i look like anymore. because whose to judge me? even if you judge me... well then go ahead, ill even point out my insecurities.
i have seven more days. then im off. the hardest thing to say is goodbye
you don't even seem to care that im going. you said that you don't want me to leave, but you don't show it. you can say but you can't do. "actions speak louder that words"
it's make or break from now on.
