im getting really tired lately. im not focused i feel retarded when i see you, my life is real fucked up. yesterday at tutoring i just got raged at by my uncle for not doing tutoring work but my homework T_T. i know i was wrong, but things aren't working out for me. It just isn't, i feel really really tired and weird. im scared to go to tutoring tmr, but who gives a shit anymore, if he rages, ill just have to listen. eff my life, nothings right. i need to get a life for reals :(
omg i ned to ask dad to go out on moday cos its a pupil free day, but today when i came home he went all fcken pissy, sooo yeah, im gonna try tonight. When he was mad he even mentioned about not letting me go out ASDFGHJKL. i don't understand :x like they think their tired, but have they considered me, im really tired, having to struggle with the pressure at school, working and everything else. Can they just give me a break? everyday i come home after school,all i want to do is drop dead literally, i feel so fcken tired. Then comes tutoring, like FML hard out, my life is playing around. most retarded thing ever. im definitely going city on monday no matter what, i can't stand anything anymore, i need to hang out with people that make me happy. i also want to invite someone else, but idk if they want to go...mmm like yeah i want to talk to them real bad cos they seem to understand me the most, but i regret everything that i did... idk if i should ask them to go with me? im afraid that they will think of me in a different way. im weak, i don't have the guts to ask them, when i've already told them my shit. i really want to talk to them in person, cos msn doesn't feel right. in person, monday. hope they can come, sometimes i really need someone to help me release all my thoughts, problems and anxiety, but i have none.
you look at me and you think im the funny type that is always cheesy and smiling, but if you actually look closely into my eyes, you'll see bags and tiredness and a lot of thoughts going around in my mind. i wish things were easier to say and that there was no judgement between others to what i do. i question myself everyday, like what am i doing? idk. really .
f u l i f e
onedaymaybe, but it's not today :(
