life is so complicated, i cannot sum it up  or explain it in. i cant take it anymore. right this minute im listening to shit and for fck i dont give a damn because, im really fucken tired, seeing your face every single day after i go home. you fuck face, i just wanna dig a hole and hibernate forever. never stops talking and just keep blaming others for your own fault. you did us all wrong and now you turn back to blame us, threaten me, harrass me? why do i have to put up with this, im soo effen tired, just leave me alone, somewhere far. i dont wanna come back to this place. i wanna go somewhere far far away and never come back to this place and re-face and remind me of my disgusting, dreadful past.

i need to leave, change to a new place, live a whole new life, because i think i deserve better than this. oh yeah i may smile and joke around heaps at school but thats just the type of person i am around people, because i believe making people happy is the best thing you can ever do. Even before i leave i just want create the best of memories, so they remember me as something special in their heart no matter what and who they are. Its hard when each and everyday you have to face up to something you hate the most, you cant change it because this was fate. how everything happens has a reason behind it, its sad that you can't hide away from it or confront it because both ways you will be stuck in a dead end. sometimes i just want to  be thankful for what i have and improve on my self but things keep holding me back, i cant predict what will happen, and when it does i cant help to control myself and know what i will do. im confused, lost, i need somebody, yet i have nobody. i think of myself as strong confident everything, i can take on anything but i was wrong, i cant, im weak, i try to hide it. oh i wish i had a time machine so i coud go back to the past and realised the people who loved me and held on to me when i was weak and make the people i loved happy. i never actually looked at the person that was always there for me yet i only noticed the person that i was chasing. Now that they have moved on im still stuck here in a big mess realising my mistakes. everything happens for a reason, its too late to really understand and notice who was there along side you all the time until you stopped chasing that person.

if a girl said iloveyou to guy, it just isnt right cos well no girl truly really has the guts , she only makes it subtly so they slowlly understand her feelings. i have a this urge but oh wells,

i really wanna go somewhere which will let me be free......